Excerpt from an interview with a Traditional Romantic from Sexpectations

Name: Lisa
Age: 27
Occupation: Programmer
Relationship Status: Single

How do you feel when men approach you?
It depends on how they approach me. If they are nice and pleasant and considerate, then I'm flattered.

If a man approached you and you were interested in him, would you give him your phone number?
I definitely would not give him my home phone number. I live in New York, give me a break. I'd either take his phone number or give a work phone number and work it like that. I don't give out my phone number because you just can't do that where I live. If I felt really comfortable with the guy, I might give him my work phone number.

What would a guy say that would impress you?
He'd obviously have to say more than a line. I would need to have a nice conversation with the guy and want to get to know him. If he approached me and started talking to me, he could talk about himself. I'd rather he didn't talk about me.

I realize that part of what will get me every time is if someone will pay attention to me. Pay attention to me and look me in the eye when you talk to me, those are the major things. If he seemed normal, I would consider going out with him. If I was attracted to him, sex is always part of it.

When you are dating a guy do feel like you control sex?
Now I do. The first couple of times I didn't, but I will never do that again.

How do you control sex?
I control the speed it happens and whether or not he is going to get that part of me. In general, I think women definitely control sex because there is so much of a taboo at this point on rape and date rape. Guys are watching their step so carefully that I think women have the control now.

How are you manipulative?
I'm not so much manipulative with men in general, it's more specific people. I can arch my eyebrow in just the right way to get them to feel bad enough and do whatever I want them to do.

Do you ever make the first move?
Yes, I am notorious for it. I start kissing a guy, or I might just grab a guy. Once, I wrestled a guy to the floor because I wanted this guy so badly and I was getting nowhere with the subtle signals. I finally just pinned him down and kissed him. Sometimes you just have to be that way because they are being so careful.

If a man wanted to have sex with you tonight what would he do?
There would have to be an extreme level of attraction or a lot of alcohol, preferably both. If it's a one night stand he's got to have a lot to offer. I mean that physically and in how he satisfies me. Sex is the one area where I don't go out with doorknobs. The men that I sleep with are confident, outgoing and attractive.

What do you think guys need to know about having one night stands with women?
The biggest thing men need to realize is that sometimes sex is just sex and this applies to women too. The next morning, most guys are like, "Oh my god I think we have a relationship now." For me it's like, "No honey, you can leave now." It's a two way street. There are a lot of women with huge sex drives out there. Women are ten times as raunchy in conversation about men than you can ever imagine.

I have a theory that men are the romantic ones. Everyone always thinks that women are the romantic ones. Women are always the ones being cast as the sensitive emotional types. It's true, we probably are more ruled by our emotions, but it doesn't necessarily mean we are more romantic. I think it's all a big scam.

I think men are the romantic ones since they have such a romantic or overly romanticized view of what a woman is. They think a woman is this soft and flower kind of romance novel. When it comes right down to it we are much more practical than men. In a romantic relationship, women are ten times more practical....

To find out more, order Sexpectations: Women talk Candidly about Sex and Dating

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